Staying Grounded in a Turbulent World – The Adlerian Approach
In the past few months, as the news cycle has become such a rollercoaster, many of us are feeling pretty motion sick. It can be hard to look away. We may joke about doom scrolling, but the reality being that it can negatively affect our mental health. The non-stop news cycle can on the one hand make our hearts race while on the other making our bodies freeze, leaving us anxious and paralyzed at the same time. Yet it can be hard to stop scrolling as the ever-changing news and latest posts on social media keep us spellbound. Meanwhile our dependence on our phones get stronger. At what point are we going to take phone addiction more seriously?
According to Alfred Adler, the father of Adlerian therapy more than a century ago, all human beings have a need to belong. For some of us that means within a family, a religious group, a sports team, an office or even an online gaming community. For various reasons, many people don’t feel a sense of belonging. This could be due to a combination of family dynamics, traumatic experiences, rejection by school mates or lovers, that leads someone to believe that they don’t have the right to belong. These beliefs can take hold as we go through life as we continue to look, often unconsciously, for evidence that we don’t have a place in this world.
Sometimes phones can offer a feeling of belonging through connecting in virtual communities. Yet at the same time, studies show increased phone usage leads to an increase in feelings of loneliness, the antithesis of belonging.
Teenagers, who are in a critical period of transition both physically and emotionally, especially need to feel like they belong. But due to compulsive phone or screen use by many of them, they are especially vulnerable to feeling disconnected. Some teens are making meaningful connections online but there’s a lot of highly anxiety-provoking materials that accompany that usage. In his book, “The Anxious Generation”, Jonathan Haidt discusses the growing phenomena of anxiety, which he attributes to a move away from a play-based childhood to a phone-based one.
As an Adlerian informed counsellor, I believe social engagement is an important part of a healthy lifestyle. In therapy, it might help an individual to consider the amount of time they spend on their phone versus actual face-to-face time to others. This could mean creating a healthier relationship with phone/screen usage. This isn’t breaking news, I get it. Many of us want a different relationship with our phones. But therapy can help you actually do it.
A key component to Adlerian therapy is encouragement. Small changes may seem insignificant but over time these minor adjustments add up. And before we know it, we are moving in the right direction where life feels more manageable and balanced.
Adlerian therapy suggests that the questions and challenges of life can be grouped into five major tasks in life: our work, our friends/family, the role of love/sex in our lives, ourselves or the “self” and our existence on earth. Therapists will encourage you to think about these five life tasks as they affect your life. It can be difficult to do this when we are hyper-focused on our devices. Google might be good at telling you where the best taco restaurant is but not good at telling you why you’re sad! (AI may argue that it can but that’s a subject for another blog).
As a person in this world, I also have to be mindful of my phone usage. My algorithm feels like a weird mish-mash of political satire, mental health life hacks and one-pot recipes. I like scrolling on my phone as much as the next person: there’s so much good material! And yet, my consumption can feel compulsive. What am I not doing when I scroll on my phone? What connection, whether it be with myself or somebody else, am I missing out on? I try to think about those five “life tasks” and consider where I am now in my life and where I want to be. I encourage myself gently to keep my intentions in mind.
What would be your intention in therapy?
